The Fault in Our Stars - No Spoilers

Last week I had the privilege to see a preview screening of The Fault in Our Stars.  It is the number one movie in the US as I write and is coming out in the UK today (19th June)!!! I don't think it is possible to live through the summer of 2014 without seeing this film.

It is based on the Y/A novel by John Green and tells the story of Hazel and Augustus who meet at their cancer support group. I read the book last year and cried aggressively on a train when I read it.

 The story is excellent.  The writing is superb (I've read all of his other novels as well). And the experience of physically reading it is memorable to me. So I packed my tissues and headed out after work.

It was the teen writing website Movellas who got me the last minute ticket to see the film. They are the official TFIOS fan fiction partner, and I have to say that the quality of the John Green fan fiction on their site is some of the best fan fiction writing I've read. The screening was at 20th Century Fox on Soho Square which have the most comfortable cinema seats I have ever experienced in my life. In the reception were drinks and food but I noticed that hardly anyone was taking advantage of them. Everyone was too excited, we found seats and settled down. There were no pre-rolls and no one eating pop corn. Basically the dream cinema trip.

What did I think of the film? 9/10 'I was saving my 10'

Inevitably with a book adaptation there are moments where your memory of the text and what is shown on screen spar with each other in your brain. For example, there is a restaurant scene which takes place outside under the trees in the book but is indoors in the film.  The decor of the bedrooms wasn't quite what I expected. Hazel's voice wasn't what I had imagined.Tiny, silly, details. There are some cuts, but again, everything was done very well and they were tiny in the scheme of things.

The casting was really REALLY good, particularly Hazel's parents. I thought Laura Dern was everything I
imagined Hazel's mother to be and she really made that role her own. Willem Dafoe was a surprise cast as Peter Van Hounten, and of course he is a highly talented actor, he did perfectly. The character of Isaac, played by Nat Wolff had potential to be a very hammed character, but I thought he brought the character some serious depth.

There were a couple things that let it down though. Now don't get me wrong. Shailene Woodley did a really good job as Hazel, she looked the part and she suited the role. But when it came to acting as if she was living with lung cancer, it felt like she was just reciting the lines, almost as if the words would be powerful enough to pull her through. It is hard to convincingly portray illnesses or disabilities of any kind anyway but I thought there could have been more effort from her. She seemed to swing between being a totally healthy teenager who was rocking some eccentric oxygen tubing, where standing and having animated conversations, even running is no problem, to being unable to stand or breathe.  It was a tall order and she was just a little too short. Maybe it was because Ansel Elgort was next to her and I believed fully that he had a prosthetic leg.

The other was the soundtrack, which is star studded and had huge media coverage all on its own.  I genuinely didn't even notice the sound track. It was totally silent most of the time. There was one moment when a song played, ended, and then dialogue started. There wasn't much of an overall score for the movie or a cohesive sound or theme.

As we left the building, the security guard had a box of tissues on the counter. Just as well, I cried at the half way point and then pretty much every five minutes until the end. Just like the book. My tiny issues with it are not enough to stop me seeing it again tomorrow!

This film is the next 'The Notebook' so all you boyfriends out there, get used to it, we LOVE The Fault in Our Stars and you MUST watch it with us and bring us doughnuts. Okay? Okay.

THANK YOU Movellas!
http://www.movellas.com/

It's Not All Bad

I know that I compare my own successes against my friends, and it is easy for me to lose sight of the positives. It can sometimes feel like I am in a hiatus in my life.  While many of my friends have jobs and are starting out on their career paths, I am in suspended animation, continuously working but staying in the same position. 


I recently turned twenty-three and on top of that, for the past few weeks I have been in an internship where I felt undervalued, unwelcome and therefore consistently apathetic towards what little work I was given.  I do not feel like I learnt anything in the whole six weeks.  It has been a huge factor in this stagnant feeling.


The good news is that I have left.  I have two very exciting internships coming up.  The first is with a digital publishing company that runs a mobile and web app for young writers.  They work very closely with their users and I am looking forward to getting stuck in. The second is with an independent publisher with an established internship program.  I'm glad to be going to a respected indi and I hope that I get to do something really exciting while I'm there.


I also am still applying to jobs most days, and sometimes I get interviews. Getting to interview stage is really good news and it definitely boosts my confidence that I am doing the right thing on paper.  The problem now is that there aren't that many jobs to apply for. Occasionally something will pop up that I can apply to but I need a new strategy.  At the moment I have been waiting for the jobs to come up on job search sites, except for Bloomsbury because I want to work there, so I check it everyday. I'm going to start applying that approach to everywhere I want to work so that I can apply as soon as something comes up.

The other good news is that I won an Emerald Street competition and enjoyed a day of beauty treatments in London AND Last weekend I went to Paris! It really isn't that bad.

UPDATE: I applied to a Bloomsbury Editorial Role in Children's. My favorite department. I didn't make it to the interview shortlist. gutted. really gutted.

Review: Before We Met and Gone Girl

Having recently read both, I believe that Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and Before We Met by Lucie Whitehouse are both fantastic and essential reads. They are both galloping suspense thrillers, created by two brilliant minds and they both have that quality that makes you beg other people to read it so that you can talk about it with them.  I'm going to try and explain which I like best and why. It's Before We Met. (Sorry, the suspense was killing me).

Gone Girl was published in 2012 by Crown Publishing (part of RH), it tells the story of Nick and Amy Dunne and their five year marriage that has been steadily going south for nearly two years. When Amy disappears on the afternoon of their fifth anniversary, Nick calls the police. As the case unfolds Nick is the only suspect. It is always the husband, right? The story is co narrated by both Nick and Amy, giving the reader some insight into the developing case from both sides.

Before We Met was published in 2014 by Bloomsbury.  Set in London, with a single narrative voice, this psychological suspense thriller had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Hannah and Mark are the perfect couple, in a perfect house, in a perfect and newly formed marriage. And then one day Mark doesn't show up at the airport from New York.  Hannah's parents divorced after her Mother's persistent paranoia of infidelity unhinged the marriage, determined not to follow that example, Hannah struggles to remain calm.

One reason I prefer Before We Met could be that I read it first. Which in the case of these two books is probably going to be rare. Gone Girl was a success in 2012 and is still being read and discussed two years later.  Before We Met's paperback only came out this month so most people will have read Gone Girl first. Before We Met was marketed with a quote from Glamour Magazine that if you loved Gone Girl you will love Before We Met. The two are linked forever.

They both look deeply into what it means to be married, and what can happen if you end up being married to someone mentally unstable, and someone very very dangerous. Both Nick (Gone Girl) and Hannah (Before We Met) are damaged in obvious, gender stereotyped ways. Hannah is paranoid, despite her best efforts, that her husband might be having an affair, she hates this suspicion as she sees herself reenacting her mother's (and every archetype woman's) actions.  While Nick's flaw is his very young, very pretty mistress (because he's a weak and male).

But what Before We Met did that Gone Girl didn't do, is that it started from a happy marriage.  Hannah's struggle with her paranoia in the face of normality made my heart thump harder than the scenarios in Gone Girl. While reading Gone Girl, at no point did I think: "Gosh, I hope my boyfriend never frames me for his murder like this."  It is undeniable that Gone Girl's Amazing Amy has a criminal and highly functioning mind. It is an unusual situation to find one's self in. But Before We Met, if you cant get through to your significant other one lunch time or what ever, I instantly thought: "My God. It is happening, it is happening to me.*checks bank balance*"  Before We Met's story is rooted in such placid normality that it made it more real and more effective.

I would definitely recommend both books. But if you want a real thriller that will mess with your mind in a deliciously talented way, it has to be Before We Met.

Greatful Moaning

Last week I attended an event put on by SYP. 'How to make the most of your internships'.  One thing that continuously comes up when people discuss internships is that, in this industry, only a small percentage of graduates are able to gain the relevant work experience by working for free. There are a couple of reasons for this:

Location and £££ MONEY £££

Most publishing houses are in London, there are a few others dotted around but the fact remains if your parents live in London or a commutable distance away, you have the means to intern. This is one reason that if you happen to be a student, it definitely pays to take internships while you have the accommodation. it is one of the biggest regrets I have about my 3 years at Uni. 

I wouldn't accept an internship if they didn't contribute to your expenses. At least that way while you are living with mum and dad or sofa surfing, you can almost keep your spending at a steady zero. But if you can't afford the travel and you have rent to pay, it is really tough to intern. possible. but so hard.

Unfortunately there isn't really much that publishing houses can really do to widen the percentage of people able to do internships. I've tried to brainstorm, but I cant see how to solve it.

I moan a lot about my situation, I want a job. I want the right job, and I have to face new rejection every single day. My commute takes ages, I don't get a wage, I'm miles away from my friends, boyfriend, and I can't afford the time or the money to come to London on the weekends. 

BUT I am extremely grateful for the support I've had from my friends and from my family in particular, who have all encouraged me to keep at the grind. I know how lucky I am and I am so grateful and I wanted to say THANK YOU for making my internships possible. Thinking about how much harder it would be if I didn't have that support, has made me realise how lucky I am.

Despite the hard work, my career has started really positively.  

Everyone's a critic

This is the interpretation of a few things that interns hear all the time:

"So . . . is there a job at the end of this one?" - The person who says this has probably seen 'Pursuit of Happiness' or 'The Internship'. In these movies there is a job opening and a group of people have a competitive incentive to be the best. The winner - gets the job. In the US. My catch phrase at the moment is 'right place, right time'.  That's pretty much how internships in the UK works. There might be a job that comes up while you are interning at one company or another, but it is not guaranteed.  And even if a job does come up and you apply for it, you are only marginally ahead of the other applicants. Still, you have the experience and the name for your CV.

Right?

"You'll definitely get a job. You have loads of experience" - Well . . . that's half right. Collecting internships and company names is fantastic for the CV but a good name does not a good internship make.  Some companies have it right, they figure out how interns will help them, and they have specific tasks for the interns to do and it works well for everyone. We are a step closer to a job because (hopefully) we learnt something. But some companies, really don't want or need interns, and we end up wasting our time and wasting the company's time. This has only come up twice for me personally, and it means my CV is nice and full, but there are two big holes of time where I experienced very little. At best you learn about the company, you get to handle some real projects, and you love making the tea every day.  But at worst, you sit at a desk being invisible, while the workings of the office are jealously guarded, and no one has the time to spend ten minutes explaining how to do something that might actually make their lives easier. 'Quality not quantity'.

"How is your Volunteer work going?" - Wooosaaaah.  It is true, from a tax point of view, you are volunteering. But saying this to an intern makes it sound like we arn't trying.  This person has probably forgotten what it is like to come out of uni, be back at your parents house, and it is time to get a job.  But the right job.  One where you get to cash in on your newly purchased education. Sometimes, you just have to work for free. Try to stay calm when people don't understand what you are trying to do. And for those of you who know an intern: don't call it volunteering, it hurts our feelings. :)

"How long have you been an intern?" - This goes back to quality verses quantity.  I know interns who have been working for YEARS, through college, through uni, through various gap years and between jobs. Eventually though, something's got to give. Option 1) You get a job, congratulations! The paycheck doesn't come till after your first month of work so be careful not to loosen the belt quite yet. Option 2) You try something new, obviously this interning thing isn't making you stand out. You shell out money on publishing courses and you network your way around literary events snooping out the editors to hob nob your way in. Option 3) Give up, this industry isn't for you and it is starting to look bad that you haven't got a job yet.

I felt like giving up this month.  But I got two great pieces of advice:

Look back at your life forty years from now, if you give up and take any old job. Would you be proud that you gave up now? That once you had aspirations to be in publishing? The intern behind you who stuck it out for one more month got your dream job. How does that feel?

Now more than ever is the time to persevere. Look how far you have come. Use hindsight to make your decisions now.

I have two copies of my CV on the wall. The first one I wrote out of Uni and the one I take to interviews. I love to see how far I have come.

Everyone will have an opinion on what you are doing, some don't understand, some won't understand, but most think it's admirable and will try help and support you.

But that is a whole other blog . . .

Why I'm Not a Writer

There is an essay in the Writers and Artists Yearbook 2012 (Bloomsbury) by Alison Baverstock called Is There a Book in You? It is a very thought provoking essay:

I graduated from Bath Spa University, where the English and Creative Writing staff are some of the best in the country. Spa's MA writing course has a reputation for producing a long list of published authors alumni.  So - budding writers flock to the West Country.  My classes were filled with very talented people, amazing writers with potential basically oozing out of them.

I went to a uni acclaimed for producing authors, I did a creative writing course, and I'm not an author. Why?

I went to university with my GREAT NOVEL unwritten.  I had no big idea to give, really. I already knew that that feeling I saw in my classmates, the great work that just needed to come out of them wasn't in me. I loved my Literature modules, carrying on where I left off A levels with MORE reading, and taught by some fantastic tutors. Creative Writing was my fun. My cathartic 6 hours off from reading (and everything else) to write.

Lecture 1 of my second year I had one of the most simultaneously depressing and inspiring lectures of my uni career. Talking to this tutor was like being hit over the head with your favourite book. You love it, but it hurts! He told us to basically forget the dream of making a living out of writing. That raised some hackles, I can tell you! He probably pushed one or two of the people in the room to really focus on their goals and prove him wrong. But I never wanted to be a writer, and what he did over the next two years was give us some excellent examples of alternative routes that would still keep us in contact with books. I now realise that that is all I've ever really wanted. 

That tutor and many others drilled a sense of hard work and the importance of reading into me.  I have never met a more well read man in my life. He ended up lending me three pivotal books as source material for my dissertation, that he just happened to have! He used to make us read our work out loud to the class so that we could hear how the writer intended it to sound. And he made us comment on people's work, out loud and to their faces.  If I didn't know it before, I knew it after every one of my creative writing seminars.

I'm not a writer because I am an editor.

A Start In Books

Hi!

This is where I blog about the experience of being an English graduate trying to get a job, the internship journey, and the books I'm reading along the way.  I might also use it to review films, discuss media stories, or anything else I'm interested in. 

I am playing a tough numbers game.  I've worked as an intern in a few different departments and I know that being in the editorial department of a publishing company is where I really want to be. But my main criteria for a job would be to keep me focused and busy and to have books that I want to read at my fingertips. So really as long as I am at a trade publishers, I'll get exposure to that. 

In order to get that dream job, you need experience. Unfortunately earnest desperation doesn't work in publishing and sometimes internships don't work either. I've learnt that you have to be at the right place at the right time, which means choosing the right internships. 

This is the route I've chosen into publishing.  When I started out I asked around my family and my friends and my university to see if anyone could really give me the contact I needed for a job. But almost all my internships have come from my own perseverance and determination.  

I'll go into more detail as the blog develops, there is so much to talk about and I can't wait. I want to show what I am reading and doing and working on and to create a scrapbook of my bookish quarter-life crisis. 

This is me. I'm a publishing intern. And I'm just getting started.